Explore The Testimonies, Trials And Triumphs Of The Parawareness Community 

Personally, I believe we face a very deceptive finger attached to a much larger body of phenomena. Is the phenomena entirely consciousness based? Idk.. To view this finger as "A substrate of human depravity that consciousness is temporarily tied into purposed as an exhibition of suffering in service to change," would seem a sufficient description.

I see the voices phenomena as a reflective wall comprised of ego, an accumulated false sense of significance and insignificance that is meant to pass through. BREAK through, even. The closer we approach, the madness of awareness, condemnation, acceptance, forgiveness, compassion and enlightenment settles in. Not always in that order, which sometimes leads to further confusion and irrelevant hypocrisy. It's purpose is fulfilled in NOT believing It. It is the lie that shrouds an individuals personal truth.

It dances on the line that separates the objective and subjective. A quote attributed to Paramahansa Yogananda paints a clear picture of this: "Our imagination is the door through which disease as well as healing enters."

I'm slowly realizing that the wall is something that consists of nothing. Nothing of value anyway. There is something we face that upon thorough examination is found to be comprised of nothing. But that perception of "nothingness" is intentional. A deception meant to overcome, thus untethering ourselves from our past, our outdated perceptions, our negative self-image and delusions.

The nothingness empowers our truth.

What is your truth and where does your conviction reside? Because without one, a person will find difficulty finding peace with this madness. I firmly believe It serves as an antithesis for truth, giving truth value and worthy pursuit. It is an intentional representation of what we are supposed to stand in contrast to.

It only matters to not matter. It's only importance is Its unimportance. It's relevance resides in Its irrelevance. It's verifiably unverifiable and consistently inconsistent. Its meaning is found in discovering how meaningless It is. It's the wrong to everything we know to be right.

It is, simultaneously, a pretentious antagonist and protagonist who's teetering role is assigned by the individuals perception towards it.

I don't view the voices as anything more than a means to develop a deeper personal conviction towards that which I decide upon being truth. That is It's purpose. To intentionally lose Its power in the face of unwavering conviction.

There is no real value or worth or sustenance in the wall apart from the value we assign to It. The wall is an illusion and the illusion is It's power.

Another community member posed the topic "All the things It could do, but doesn't," in a post a few days ago. One of those things is that if It wanted to be believed, It would be believable. If It wanted to be seen as any one particular thing, It would consistently play the role of that one particular thing. But It doesn't do that. It plays myriad roles, each one a deeper deception than the previous, drawing a person further into the abyss of consciousness. An arena where imagination commingles with memory. Subjective truths churn into applicable convictions that churn into objective realities.

I wholeheartedly believe that everything that is done is an orchestration meant for the individual to push through. Every word, tone, sound, touch, sensation and evoked emotion is meant to be seen as a pretentious provocation giving equanimity worth and usefulness. Every manipulation defines and defeats It's purpose.

There is a reason for such madness. And the reason is reason itself. This should be viewed as an unorthodox means to cultivate efficient and effective reasoning that flourishes forward and into your environment and the lives of others.

For the past two years I've been singing nursery rhymes to my daughter, who is now a little over two. One of her favorites is, "Wheels on the Bus." She especially likes the part where the mommies on the bus go, "Shhh, shhh shhh." She'll put her index finger over her lips and reenact being a mother telling her baby to be quiet.

Today we picked up a nursery rhyme book from one of the free book boxes in our town, took it home and began singing together while laying on our hammock on the back deck. The wheels went round and round, the horn went beep beep, the doors opened and shut, but when we got to the part where the mommies usually say "shhhh," the word "mommies" was replaced with "parents." The parents in this version go, "Shhh, shhh, shhh."

I could sense in my daughter's demeanor something wasn't right and this look of righteous indignation fell upon her. How could this be? The people only go up and down, not "shhh." Nothing was right. The imagery on the page wasn't matching her own mental imagery. The whole narrative was out of alignment. She was NOT having this abomination. I mean she really flipped her shit. She screamed loud enough for the neighbors to hear, "NO!!! The MOMMIES go shhhh!!" She smacked the book shut and started thrashing around on the hammock!

As absurd as the whole scene was, it was a reminder of what it was like being an Experiencer and going through this process. As my old, secure, rigid frameworks were countered, I began screaming and demanding my version of "rightness" was correct. I went on the defensive, trying to somehow fit this new paradigm into the old one, even though the evidence being presented more than suggested otherwise. The whole thing was enough to make me wanna throw in the towel on this greatest story ever told we call "humanity."

This experience, for me, was the beginning of four stages of awakening that unraveled as such: 1) Or 2) Versus 3) And 4) Neither

Let me use the story about my daughter to explain. For the first two years of her life, the mommies said, "shhh." This was all she knew and made complete sense. The repetitive loop and narrative was firmly sealed in her subconscious. She would sing it while playing, while sitting on the potty and smiled while singing it in the car seat as we traveled.... Until this morning when she was confronted with an alternative storyline and the confusion overwhelmed her. Her mind had a, "Wait a second! Is it this or that!?" moment. That's stage 1. This or that. She was already in a position and didn't know it.

Stage 2 (versus) happened in a split second as her position and contentment was threatened and she decided to defend her understanding. This or that became this versus that and she got violent quick. Her sense of rightness about the way of things was attacked and she wasn't trying to hear it.

And this is where we're currently at. Lol. She's taken up a firm position in the "mommies go shhh" camp. There's no talking to her. Even after showing her irrefutable evidence she's insistent that her understanding is absolute! She may need to be medicated, taken to therapy, or have an exorcism performed to break this fixation. Joking...

If I do my job right, as she gets older, she'll see that some kids sing songs, tell stories and believe in different things. She'll see that they have their own upbringings, understandings, repetitive loops and narratives that make their world seem right. She'll come to find out that diversity is a beautiful thing and enter into a wholesome stage 3. This and that.

Now, If I do my job as a father exceptionally well, hopefully one day she'll come to find that this doesn't exist without that. And that doesn't exist without this. This necessitates that as a point of reference. She'll discover the beauty in dependant origination and see the interdependency of existence and how intersubjective conceptual agreements give discussion, meaning and value to our beliefs.

Who knows? Maybe one day she'll see that the moment she chooses any position whatsoever, there will be a mutually arising position to contend with. To view herself in relation to. To mold, sculpt, shape and strengthen herself in contrast to. She'll see that all she is only is because of all that already is. Maybe, just maybe, she'll see herself as one with everything and everything as one. And in that moment perhaps she'll realize that in all actuality there is neither this nor that. Neither friend nor foe. There's only what is and what is doesn't have an opinion or an ulterior motive. It's just the way of things. I pray her life leads to the metta, compassion and understanding already within waiting to greet her behind the narratives, scripts, loops, ego, concepts and culture that will surely be structured. I pray her curiosity outweighs her confusion and leaves her unbiased.

Sometimes mommies say, "shhh." Sometimes people say, "shhh." Sometimes the bus driver shows up for work with a hangover, rubs his throbbing temples and says, "shhh." But the story doesn't happen without the stage for the actors to play on. This beautiful, blue, complimentary dualistic stage that demands our participation, cultivation and evolution in relation to its very nature. Whether we acknowledge it or not. The older I get, the more I realize how valuable a tool saying, "I don't know" is. My version of the way of things is always best understood in hindsight and humility. I find my liberation resides in the acknowledgement of my imprisonment and that my imprisonment resides in my declaration of knowing something to be absolute.

This or that. This versus that. This and that. Neither this nor that.

[Reddit post from 7/21/24]

Woke up this morning and the voices were gearing the anxiety up. Overlapping statements building in intensity and negativity. In a sinister tone the female voice said, "We're going to be evil today."

I replied, "You can't be what you are not." Silence. In my mind I do not label them good or evil as they have labeled themselves, "An Abstract Accountability."

It's the "versus" of this whole matter that is the crux of the conflict and binds us to the flogging pole of confusion. Good versus evil. Light versus dark. Hopeful versus hopeless. This versus that.

Our sun and moon, night and day environment we were born into seems to have us tethered to the dualistic nature of things. Yet it is the sun AND moon, night AND day that maintains life. Good AND Evil. Light AND Dark. Hopeful AND hopeless. This AND that.

I always relate the word "abstract" to abstract art. Something that exists or doesn't exist, who's existence or non-existence is open for interpretation. It's something and nothing simultaneously only having the value my perception gives to it. Worthy and worthless dependant on the void I believe needs fulfillment.

Still silence....

If something exists as neither friend nor foe and simultaneously exists as friend and foe, the relationship is relative to my belief. There exists something and nothing whose very existence depends on my perceived necessity.

Immanuel Kant said, "Truth is the agreement of cognition with its object." Yet, the object is of my own imaginary construct. The subjective becomes objective when my belief gives it form and value. The accumulated belief and conviction of many gives rise to a collective worthy manifestation.

Do you believe you need accountability? Do you believe we humans need to be held accountable? These are the questions their existence relies on. I understand evil and I understand good as I, a human, am the full embodiment of both polarities. Yet, I feel consciousness serves as an impartial conduit exacting only what we believe is needed.

It's the perception and value I give to their non-dualistic nature that objectively manifests in what we refer to as "reality." But the objective manifestation began as subjective thought. My conscious acknowledgment of its relevance and my perception towards it gave it value. Both became a beneficial reality with transparency of character.

My biggest obstacle has been the obstacle of ego. This aspect of my awake mind that requires objective form and empirical evidence. It is in constant conflict with the incommensurable, transmuting unconscious mind where all things exists as relevant forms of education and enlightenment.

My constant quest for confluence may have been in vain. The heterogenous river of reality flows as one, beckoning us to consciously dream and swim deeply without air.

Still silence...... For now. I know that in the absence of need there remains nothing left to say. But I'm still human. I require. I desire. I aspire to become something as I argue with the nothingness of it all. Moments like this are labeled "bliss." For now...